At the End
by Mychand
Summary: Hawke and Caitlin struggle to come to terms with an event that nearly cost Caitlin her life.
1. Chapter 1

_This story is a little different because it sort of starts at the end._

**At the End**

Chapter 1

When Hawke walked into her room, he didn't quite know what to expect this time. Each time was different. That's why he was taken aback when she looked up and stared at him. He didn't dare say a word to her. Previous attempts had caused her to clam up and look away. He wondered what she was thinking. What she was feeling.

He knew how he felt. Ever since they brought her to the hospital two months before, he'd been so torn up about it all. At first he blamed himself but as time went on, he just got numb. He wished that life weren't so complicated. It was always so much easier for him at the cabin. There, all he had to do was enjoy nature. Nature he understood. Women he did not.

Hawke sat down on the long couch that took up one side of Caitlin's room. She was now in a long term care facility and they were trying to get her back on her feet. She was doing well and followed directions but no matter how hard they tried, she refused to speak to anyone.

"Good morning," said Dom as he entered the room carrying a small brown bag. "I brought us some pastries."

"Thanks," Hawke replied softly. "I forgot to eat something before I left this morning."

Dom grabbed the rolling bed tray and swung it over Caitlin's lap. She watched silently as he opened up a napkin and then the bag.

"You get first pick," he told her.

Hawke watched her as she followed his directions and pulled out one of the apple fritters.

Dom smiled. "I knew you loved those."

Caitlin took a bite and stared up at him. Hawke thought for a moment that she would say something but his heart sank when she picked up the pastry and took another bite.

That seemed to be enough for Dom though. Reaching her in any way was better than nothing at all.

"What time do we have to be on the set?" Hawke asked Dom as he sat down and began to eat his own fritter.

"Not until after noon," he told them. "They had several scenes they needed to film this morning before they get to our stunt."

"I think I'm going to go and head out there early," Hawke told him. "I want to check everything out again and go over it all with Hal."

Dom shrugged. "I checked it last night and went over it with him twice," he replied. "But, there's nothing wrong with being cautious."

Hawke suddenly noticed that Caitlin had put down her pastry and was now staring hard at the two of them.

Dom stopped chewing and looked up as well. Then he smiled. "Hal is someone recommended by the studio to temporarily help us with the stunts," he told her.

Caitlin stared for another moment and then picked her fritter back up and took another bite.

"How does he do that?" thought Hawke. "He's seems so in tune with her and she responds."

Hawke wished he could find a way to get to her as well but he was relieved that at least someone was making an impact on her. He hoped in time she would allow him back in as well. He thought he knew why she was so distant. He just wasn't sure how to fix the past.

After they ate, Dom followed Hawke out into the hallway. He stopped and put his hand on the side of Hawke's face and smiled at him. "Give her time, will ya?" he told him. "She'll come around. Just continue to let her go at her own pace."

Hawke sighed deeply. "I guess I don't have much choice," he said. "She seems pretty happy to have you around though."

"I didn't push," he told her. "She initiated it a few days ago after something I said."

"What was that?" asked Hawke.

"Well, that's between the two of us," he replied. "But I spoke from the heart and it worked."

"I'm afraid to even speak to her Dom," complained Hawke. "The last time she turned over and pulled the sheet over her head like some little kid."

"Treat her like one and she'll act like one," replied Dom. "Think about it String."

Hawke shook his head. "You're right," he said. "I guess I'm going to head out now. I'll see you when you get there."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

After going over the stunt again with Hal, Hawke sat and watched as the actors went through a couple of different scenes. He couldn't help but let his mind drift back to Caitlin.

When he first saw her lying in the hospital bed he found it more than difficult. He wanted to hold her and tell her how sorry he was but he wasn't allowed to touch her. The bullet was lodged in her back and the doctors had to keep her sedated until they were able to safely remove it. Hawke thought back about the agony they felt while waiting.

"I think we're going to lose her this time Dom," Hawke said sadly as they watched the bleeps of the monitors. "And it's all my fault."

Dom shook his head. "You know it isn't," he said adamantly.

"How can you say that?" Hawke replied angrily. "I know it is!"

Hawke stormed out of the room and down the hallway. Dom took a deep breath and followed him.

"What are you going to do String?" he yelled. "Run away again like always?"

Hawke turned and glared at him. "What I do is my business," the replied. "Just leave me alone."

"Fine," Dom continued in a lower voice. "Go ahead and leave. But, I think you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

"I can't just sit here and watch her die, Dom," he replied holding back a slight sob. "Not Caitlin. I just can't."

"Don't give up on her String," Dom insisted. "She's a fighter. She always has been but she needs us more than ever now. If she stabilizes they'll operate tonight."

"And if she doesn't?" Hawke replied sadly.

"Then we wait," replied Dom. "We keep waiting as long as she needs us. That's what family does."

Hawke closed his eyes and sighed lightly. "You're right," he conceded. "I'll go back and wait with you."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Hawke we need to film your stunt in about an hour," the director's yell broke Hawke out of his daydream.

"Okay," he replied hoping that Dom would be there soon. He climbed inside the Santini helicopter and looked around at the current film set. It was supposed to be an old run down town and Hawke thought it looked like a place he'd like to avoid. Sighing, once again he let his mind drift back to Caitlin's first days at the hospital.

As they attempted to enter Caitlin's room the doctors and nurses rushed past them, pushing them back out of the door.

"What's going on?" Hawke yelled.

"I'm afraid we're losing her," one of the nurses said bluntly. "Please just stay out of the doctor's way."

Dom pulled Hawke into the small waiting room where they both sat down. Hawke felt numb. He thought that maybe he should be use to tragedy by now. It seemed to follow him. But he knew if Caitlin died that this time it would be different. The blood would be on his hands.

Dom's quietness made Hawke even more nervous. There were no more words of wisdom, just complete silence. He realized then that Dom was just as afraid as he was.

Several hours passed before one of the doctors finally came out to see them. Hawke stood up to meet him and nearly fell on his face. Dom and the doctor grabbed him and held on until he regained his balance.

"Are you okay?" asked Dom.

"Just a little light headed," replied Hawke.

"When was the last time you had anything to eat?" the doctor asked.

Hawke shook his head and grimaced. "I don't even remember."

"Well, I think you two should head to the cafeteria," he ordered. "Your friend is in ICU. The surgeon was able to successfully remove the bullet. She's stable."

Relief washed over the two men as they made their way to get some much needed nourishment.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Are you and Hal ready?" asked Dom as he came up behind Hawke who was still sitting in the helicopter with the door ajar.

"Yeah," he replied softly.

"Where've ya been?" asked Dom.

"Here," he replied, confused.

Dom grinned. "I mean, where did your mind wander off to?" he asked again.

"I was just thinking about what Caitlin's first few days in the hospital," replied Hawke. "She's come a long way since then."

"She sure has," said Dom. "It keeps getting better every day. They actually had her up on her feet today. She's slow and steady but it's coming along well."

"Has she talked to you?" asked Hawke. "Has she said anything at all?"

Dom shrugged. "Still not verbally," he admitted. "But that's okay. She reacts and we manage to communicate. I guess after working with her for so long I've gotten use to reading her. I'm not going to push her. When she's ready to talk, she will. We take it at her pace. She seems pleased with that."

"I just don't understand it Dom," said Hawke. "Why won't she talk? I tried to talk to one of the doctor's about it the other day but they just said something about it being emotional."

"String, she's been through a lot," Dom told him. "The mind is a complicated beast. Sometimes the mind shuts down as a way of protection. We just have to be patient."

"Do you know today was the first day since this all happened that she actually looked at me?" asked Hawke.

"Did you say anything to her?" asked Dom.

"No," he replied. "I was afraid to."

Dom laughed. "Since when are you afraid of Caitlin?" he asked.

"Very funny," replied Hawke. "I'm not afraid of her. I just don't want to upset her."

Dom shook his head. "Same difference," he concluded. "Either way, you're afraid of her. I bet she knows it."


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for all the nice reviews. I wanted to start "at the end" to do something a little different. Technically, it's "the present" but you do know what happened at the end of the "mission/job" and then you'll learn what led up to it. Along the way is the angst part which for some reason I was in the mood to write. I've had a bit of writer's block for weeks now but I find that stress gets me going and I was stressed about an appt yesterday. So, I sat down right before it and well, that's how my first chapter came about! LOL _

**Chapter 3**

Hawke completed his part of the stunt and he waited off to the side of the set for Hal and Dom to do their parts. He thought a lot about what Dom had told him.

He hated to admit it, even to himself but Dom was right. He was afraid of her. But, to an extent, he thought maybe he was more embarrassed than afraid. He couldn't bring himself to tell Dom what had happened between them the day before which he figured might be the reason she glared at him, or stared the last time he was there. To him it felt like more of a glare.

Caitlin had been sitting in a wheel chair in front of the large window in her room when he came to see her that morning. He tried talking to her but she ignored him as usual and for some reason it annoyed him that time. Feeling like he couldn't take it any longer, he wheeled her around towards him and leaned down, his face nearly inches from hers.

"What the hell is with you?" he screamed. "I know this is all my fault but how long are you going to keep making me pay for it?"

Once he said it, he regretted it deeply but her reaction shocked him more. She reached up and slapped him across the face.

Hawke stood up and stared at her. She closed her eyes and held tightly to the wheel chair sides. He could see that she was shaking.

"I'm sorry," he replied softly. "I deserved that. The last thing I want to do is to ever hurt you again."

Hawke watched as a single tear ran down her face. He wanted desperately to wipe it away but instead he turned and left her sitting there alone.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"I think we're done," said Dom. "The director said he's happy with the shots he got today. He'll let us know if he needs us tomorrow or not."

"Great," Hawke replied softly.

Dom studied him carefully. "Need to talk some more?" he asked. "I promise I won't lecture."

Hawke shot him a slight grin. "I guess I was just wishing we had never taken that last job for Michael. Things were great before that."

"You mean between you and Caitlin?" he asked.

Hawke shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah," he replied sadly.

_Two months earlier:_

Caitlin breezed into the hangar early that Monday morning to find that she was the last one to come in.

"Wow, you two are sure here early," she said with a smile. "What's the occasion?"

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Dom smirked.

Hawke tried hard not to laugh at Dom's funny look but he couldn't stop himself. "She's trying to say we're always late," he replied in mid laugh.

"Hmph," Dom replied and then grinned. "Well, we have an early shoot this morning. The director called me late last night."

"Why didn't you call me?" Caitlin asked.

"Because he knew you'd be in early," Hawke told her.

Caitlin smiled before turning and watching the white limo pull up to the hangar. "Oh boy," she replied. "It looks like someone else is an early riser this morning."

Hawke walked over to Michael as he got out of the limo. "What's up Michael?" he asked with a slight frown.

Michael smiled at him. "Glad to find you all here this morning," he replied. "I have a job for you."

"Well, it'll have to wait until this afternoon," Dom advised him. "We have a stunt to do in an hour."

"No problem," replied Michael. "I don't need you until later today."

"What's this about?" asked Hawke.

Michael handed Hawke a photograph of a woman and her young daughter.

"I've seen them recently," said Hawke. "On the news."

"Yeah, the young girl witnessed her uncle's death at the hands of an important military official," Michael told them.

"I remember seeing that too," said Caitlin. She was staying with him while her mom was out of town. What do you need us for?"

"The girl will have to testify at the trial which is set to happen in six months," replied Michael. "Until then, we are putting them both in the witness protection program. They are helping to take down a very powerful person with a lot of connections."

"We need you to fly to Florida this afternoon and pick them up," Marella said as she finally got out of the limo and walked up behind them.

"No problem," replied Dom.

"No offense Dominick but I'd like for Caitlin and Hawke to go," replied Michael. "I think they'd relate better to another woman. They're both having a hard time as it is."

"Where are taking them?" asked Caitlin.

"You'll get those instructions after you pick them up," replied Michael. "The decision won't be made until then."

"Alright," replied Hawke. "It sounds simple enough."

"I'll contact you with the pick-up location once you are up in Airwolf," Marella told them before she and Michael got back into the limo and left.

Caitlin went to put her purse and things in the back room and came out carrying a small vase with a half dozen roses in it. She looked at Hawke and smiled.

"What's the occasion?" she asked.

Hawke blushed a little and shrugged. "I was thinking after we all left from dinner last night that we never thank you enough for all you do around here," he told.

"We pay her!" yelled Dom.

Caitlin laughed. "Not enough," she replied. "Thanks, Hawke. That was really sweet."

"Hey, flowers are cheaper than your salary," replied Dom who was trying to keep a straight face. "I'll be happy to pay you in flowers from now on."

"I love you too Dom," she said as she walked over and picked up a broom to help Hawke clean up the mess he'd made.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"I'm heading back up to the hospital now," Dom told Hawke once they returned to the hangar after the stunt with Hal. "Are you coming?"

Hawke shrugged. "No, I think I'm going to head home," he said. "I'm kind of tired."

Dom shook his head. "String, promise me you'll go and see her tomorrow then?" he asked.

"We'll see," Hawke replied softly.

Dom knew what that meant. Hawke was drifting further away and he wasn't sure how to reel him back in.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Dom showed up earlier than normal the next morning. He stopped on the way and picked up a hot breakfast for the two of them. He knew Caitlin hated the food at the clinic she was in and he enjoyed seeing a gleam in her eyes whenever he could. As he headed towards her room, he heard her scream. He quickly threw open the door and ran inside. Caitlin was sitting up in her bed shaking and crying.

Dom ran to her. Sitting at the edge of the bed, he pulled her into his arms.

"It's going to be okay," he said soothingly. "Take it easy. It's okay."

"No," she said softly. "It's never going to be okay."

Her words shocked him. It wasn't what she said, but that she actually said them. She hadn't spoken to anyone since she woke up from her surgery.

Dom pulled away from her and gently cupped her face with his hand. "I'm here for you," he told her. "Whatever you need me to do, I will."

Caitlin sighed softly. "I can't get what happened out of my mind Dom," she replied. "I don't think I'll ever get over it."

"A part of you never will," he told her. "I experienced something similar in the war. Eventually it will just live in the back of your mind. But, no, you'll never forget. Still, I promise you that things will get better over time."

Caitlin smiled at him. It was the first genuine smile he had seen from her since she was injured. "Dom, you've been wonderful," she told him. "I don't know what I'd do without you. You even managed to get my mom to go back to Texas. I don't know how you did it but she was driving me crazy. I didn't think I could take one more day with her in here."

Dom laughed. "Well, your momma is a pretty feisty woman," he replied. "Let's just say I had an ex just like her once so I learned a thing or two about women like that."

Caitlin grinned at him. "Thanks Dom, you always know how to make me feel better," she replied before asking. "Is that breakfast I smell?"

"Huh, oh yeah," he replied. "I stopped at your favorite place."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

_Two months earlier:_

"Wow that was as easy as the first stunt I had to do for Santini Air," Caitlin said as they wrapped up for the afternoon and headed back to the hangar.

"You thought that first stunt was easy?" asked Hawke. "It was pretty dangerous considering what happened."

Caitlin thought for a moment and grinned. "Yeah, that kiss was pretty dangerous,"  
she replied. "Good thing we didn't have to do a second take."

Dom couldn't help but laugh.

Hawke grinned. "It was just dangerous to you because I made you blush," he insisted.

"No, you didn't," she replied while shooting him a dirty look.

Hawke walked up close to her and pulled her to him. "Want to bet?" he replied.

Before she could say anything he leaned in and kissed her. Shocked, she pulled back quickly.

"See," he said softly as he saw her cheeks turn slightly pink.

Caitlin couldn't help but give him a crooked smile. "Let's get going flyboy," she replied, trying to change the subject. "Michael won't like it if we're late."

Hawke picked up his backpack and followed Caitlin to the Jeep.

"You two be careful," Dom said.

"Oh it'll be a piece of cake," Hawke teased.

Caitlin rolled her eyes at him. "Let's go," she said.

After retrieving Airwolf, Hawke and Caitlin headed to Florida to pick up the woman name Sheri and her daughter Melissa. Marella sent the coordinates as soon as they were airborn.

"I feel really sorry for them Hawke," said Caitlin. "That poor little girl witnessed a murder and now they have to leave behind everything and everyone they know. It's got to be difficult."

"Yeah," he replied. "Well, hopefully Michael will make sure they are well taken care of in the mean time."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Dom couldn't help but stare at Caitlin as she quickly finished off her breakfast.

"You sure have an appetite this morning," he said with a smile. "That's good."

"I just wish the food in here was better," she admitted. "Dom I really want to go home."

"Cait, you're making great progress," Dom replied. "The doctors are impressed with the mobility you've shown this past week. I'm sure you'll be out of here in not time."

"I hope so," she replied. "I just want my life to get back to normal, if that's possible."

"Of course it is," he replied. "Does that mean you want to work out things with String too?"

Caitlin sighed. "Dom, I'm not ready to talk about Hawke," she insisted.

"Cait, you surely don't blame him for what happened?" Dom asked.

"Dom, you've been great about letting me work through this at my own pace," she replied. "Can you please let me do the same when it comes to Hawke?"

"Sure," he replied softly. "I'm sorry for pushing. I really don't mean to."

Caitlin reached over and grabbed his hand. "I know," she replied. "You're heart is in the right place but the whole thing with Hawke is just complicated. Right now, I can't get past the anger I feel."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Hawke sat at the edge of the water on the lake by his cabin. He couldn't bring himself to go back and see Caitlin. Not yet at least. He knew he had things to work out himself. He realized the incident had just as much of an impact on him as it did her even though he tried desperately to push it all to the back of his mind.

_Two months earlier:_

Hawke and Caitlin picked up Sheri and Melissa in Florida without incident. Once in the air, Michael instructed him to bring them back to California. He wanted them close and felt they'd be safer that way.

Caitlin found herself enjoying their company as they flew back home. She found out that that young girl was nine years old and she had never flown anywhere before.

"Wow, I think I want to be a pilot when I grow up," she told them. "This is awesome."

Hawke loved that they were able to make the young girl smile. He knew what she had ahead of her. He wished he could do more.

"Maybe when this is all over with we can take you out over the ocean," he told her. "It's beautiful and peaceful."

Sheri smiled at him. "That's very sweet of you," she replied.

"Oh, I'd love that," yelled Melissa. "Do you promise?"

Hawke smiled. "Yeah, I promise."

Caitlin loved watching the exchange between Hawke and the girl. There was something about kids that always seemed to bring out the best in him.

It seemed like no time when their trip to the west coast was over. Michael gave them a landing location and they were told that four of his men would be meeting them and taking the mother and daughter to secure location from there.

After landing, they all climbed out of Airwolf, greeted Michael's men and said their goodbyes.

"I'm holding you to your promise," Melissa told Hawke with a smile. "But I want Caitlin to come too."

Caitlin smiled. "I wouldn't miss it," she replied.

Hawke and Caitlin climbed back into Airwolf and watched as the men escorted the two away.

Suddenly, and uneasy feeling came over her. "Hawke, I don't know why but something doesn't feel right about these men."

Caitlin jumped back out of Airwolf and Hawke followed, unsure of why he suddenly felt the same way.

"Hang on a minute," he yelled out to the men.

Before they knew it, guns rang out. Hawke pulled his gun and was able to take down two of the men as another ran off. As Caitlin ran to help the young girl and her mother, the fourth man came barreling at Hawke. The two struggled with his gun as the man tried desperately to get it away from him.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

As he watched the wind ripple the water on the lake, Hawke kept replaying that moment over and over again in his mind. When the gun went off, it struck Caitlin in the back. He knew it immediately after it happened. His anger and rage at the man he was fighting with allowed him to overpower and nearly strangle the man to death.

When all the men were subdued, he ran to her and held her in his arms. Tears streamed down her face and when he went to wipe them away he realized how much blood was on his hands from holding her.

"Please…" she whispered. "Don't….let…die."

"I promise I won't let you die," he assured her, trying to hold back his own fears.

"No…no….." she replied. "Don't…let…die."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Back at the hospital, Caitlin seemed to be having a great day. The doctors allowed her to take steps with a walker and although still a little shaky, she did quite well.

"Does this mean I can go home soon?" she asked the doctor. "Because I'll try whatever you want me to try and do whatever it takes to make that happen. I want to go home so badly."

The doctor smiled. "I've ordered a few tests first," he told her. "But I don't see why we can't get you out of here sometime in the next few days."

Caitlin was jubilant. "Did you hear that Dom?" she asked. "I'm finally going to get out of this place. I can't wait!"

Dom smiled. It was good to see her happy again. He missed the fun, sassy Caitlin who always had a positive attitude. "Good for you honey," he told her. "I knew you could do it."

As he wheeled her back to her room, Caitlin found herself in deep thought. Dom helped her back into bed and gave her several pillows to make herself more comfortable. He was suddenly concerned that she may be withdrawing again.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "Dom, about what you said before when we were talking about Hawke. I don't blame him for shooting me. I know that was an accident. I'm not ready to talk it through yet but I'm still pretty angry with him. Maybe it's not rational. I just can't get past it. I wish I could."

Dom smiled at her. "Give it time," he told her. "Maybe when you're out of this place you'll look at things in a new light. You've been through a lot."


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks again for the reviews. I think this one will end after one more chapter. _

**Chapter 6**

_Two months earlier:_

It all seemed like something out of a bad movie to Hawke. Medics and dozens of Michael's men surrounded the area within moments of the shootings. Caitlin was immediately removed from his arms and placed on a stretcher.

He tried desperately to block out the horror he'd seen…that they both saw. Melissa's mother died of several gunshot wounds to the abdomen. But Melissa had been killed instantly with a bullet to her head.

Caitlin had been holding her when Hawke's gun went off and struck her in the back. She had begged him not to let Melissa die but he felt she had to know that the little girl was already gone. There was nothing he could do. There was nothing anyone could do.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hawke sat out in front of the cabin and watched as Dom landed the Santini helicopter on to the dock. Dom climbed out and made his way to the cabin, joining him on the bench out front.

"I was hoping you would have made it back to visit Caitlin by now," he told him while trying hard not to scold.

"She doesn't want me there," he replied sadly. "I think it is best that I let her recover without me around."

"Well you'll have to see her soon," he replied. "The doctors are releasing her and I'm bringing her here."

Hawke stood up and shook his head. "Dom, I don't think that's a good idea," he replied. "You don't want her to shut back down do you?"

"She won't," he replied. "But the two of you need to work through what happened together. I can't begin to figure out why she's so upset with you but I do know she doesn't blame you for shooting her."

Hawke sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Does she even want to come here?" he asked.

"Well, not exactly," Dom replied. "It was either here or Texas and that's the last place she wants to go. Her mother smothers her too much."

"Yeah, I noticed," Hawke replied in a near whisper.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Later that week, Caitlin was released to go home and Dom flew her out to the cabin. Hawke rearranged the furniture so that she could get around easier with her walker and set up the downstairs guest room for her.

To his dismay, Caitlin was cordial but still wouldn't talk to him. Dom stayed the first few days and helped to get her settled before leaving the two of them there alone. On the fourth day, after making her breakfast, Hawke couldn't take it any longer. He found himself screaming at her.

"Caitlin, what the hell is that I have to do?" he asked. "I said I was sorry for the shooting but Dom told me you weren't mad about that. What is it?"

Caitlin just stared at him, got up and made her way to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. In return, Hawke stormed out the cabin, doing the same with the front door.

A few minutes later Caitlin opened the front door. Hawke could see the anger that had welled up inside her.

"Why does this always have to be about you?" she yelled. "All you cared about in the hospital was if I was mad at you for shooting me. Where in that head of yours does it seem logical for me to think you shot me on purpose? Honestly Hawke, that's just crazy."

"Then what the hell is it?" he yelled back. "I certainly can't read your mind."

"How can you not know?" she asked. "I thought if you knew me well enough you would. I asked you not to let her die Hawke. I begged you."

Hawke shook his head. "Caitlin, you have to know she was already gone," he replied lowering his voice this time.

Caitlin began to sob slightly. "I know," she said sadly. "But I can't get it out of my mind and yet you just act like it never happened. It's like she never existed to you. All you cared about was what happened to me….what you did to me. She was only a little girl. She didn't deserve to die."

Hawke sighed deeply. "I know it seems that way but Caitlin I've seen so much death in my life I guess I learned to bury it in the back of my mind," he replied. "How can you believe I could be so cold?"

"Because you can be," she yelled as she turned back around towards the door. "Sometimes I think you're afraid to feel anything real."

Hawke was slightly taken aback by her comments. He knew that she was partially right. He did hold back his feelings at times and sometimes he was a bit callous. But he considered her family and he thought she understood him.

He didn't want to argue with Caitlin anymore. He realized she had been hurt enough. Instead of responding, he turned and headed down towards the lake to get away and think. When he got down towards the more wooded part of the path, he didn't' see a large hole that Tet had created earlier that day and tripped, falling face forward. His head hit a small boulder and he immediately passed out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Hawke opened his eyes and quickly squinted as the bright light of the room caused pain to radiate throughout his brain. He opened them again as he felt a cool cloth being dabbed on his forehead.

"Cait?" he said softly before trying to sit up.

"Whoa," she said as she took her other hand and pushed him back down on the pillow. "Dom left and the last thing I need is for you to get up and fall on your face again. I'm not in any shape to pick you up, you know."

It was then that Hawke realized he was lying on the bed in Caitlin's room.

"How…what happened?" he asked.

"You fell on the path heading towards the lake," she told him. "I had to call Dom. He didn't have the strength to take you upstairs so you're stuck here for now. Dom went to get a doctor. He's worried you might have a concussion."

"I'll be fine," he said, trying to sit up again.

"Look for once just quit being so stubborn and lay back," she scolded him and pushed him back again.

Hawke grabbed one of her arms and then another, studying each. She had several deep scratches along both arms. "What happened?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

Caitlin shrugged her shoulders. "I'm fine," she replied. "When it started to get dark and you didn't come back, I got worried. I decided to go after you but…..well, it wasn't the brightest thing to do with a walker. I fell down a couple of times."

Hawke stared into her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

"No problem," she said as she got up and held on to her walker. "I'm getting kind of tired so I think I'll wait on the couch until Dom gets back."

Hawke sat up slightly. "Wait. Please," he said. "Lay here with me. I really need to talk to you."

"Look Hawke," she replied trying to brush him off. "It's okay. There's nothing else left to say. I was just upset. I'd never experienced anything like that before. I'll be fine."

"No, it's not okay," he replied. "I need you to understand what I was thinking."

The look in his eyes drew Caitlin in. She always found herself lost in his eyes and it drove her crazy. She saw a lot of hurt there. She thought about the last time she saw that kind of hurt from him. It was when he thought he'd killed Dom.

Caitlin shifted herself in the walker so that she could sit back down on the bed. He helped her to turn around and lay down beside him. To her surprise, he moved closer to her and held her in his arms, resting his chin lightly on her shoulder.

"I've thought about her every day since it happened," he said in a near whisper. "I guess I've learned to become numb to tragedy. It's seems to define who I am."

Caitlin closed her eyes and reached for his hand. She squeezed it lightly.

"I only knew her for a short time and it did effect me," he admitted. "But Caitlin you're family and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. I've lost too many people that I've loved. I won't apologize for making you my first priority."

"You don't have to," she replied softly. "When I saw you out there lying on the ground, all I could think of was getting help and if you were okay. I guess I started to realize how you must have felt. I was so upset by what happened that it consumed me. I felt guilty for thinking of anything else. I guess that's why I was so angry that you didn't seem to feel the same way. I started to worry that I was losing my mind. I'm just now starting to let it go."

"It's always going to be a part of you," he told her. "The events in our lives, good or bad are what help to form the people we become. I know at times I do come off as cold. Sometimes I just can't help it. But, I'll try and work on it."

Caitlin shifted sideways and wrapped her arms around Hawke's waist. She was surprised at how comfortable that felt. She would never admit to him that he was right about the kisses they shared. Both times she felt her face flush. She loved him. She knew it. She liked that he considered her family but she couldn't help but wish that his love was more than that.

"What time did Dom leave," he asked after they sat silent for several minutes.

"Oh, I think it's been about an hour now," she replied. "He should be here soon."

"I really don't think I need a doctor but I would like for someone to check out your arms," he told her. "I'd hate to see you get some kind of infection on top of everything else."

Caitlin couldn't help but giggle.

"What's so funny," he asked, looking down at the grin on her face.

"You're starting to sound like Dom now," she replied. "Just like an old mother hen. I can just picture it in my head."

Hawked grinned. "Well, I think I may know a way to get that image out of your head," he replied.

"Oh yeah?" she asked. "How do you plan to do that?"

Hawke pulled her closer and looked into her eyes. As scared as he was to continue what he was about to do, he was more afraid of never doing it. He'd almost lost her and that was a lesson he'd learned from the experience. He knew life was too short to sit back and wait to take chances. So, he did it. He leaned and kissed her. It started out soft and then grew more passionate. To his delight, she responded. He continued the kiss until they were both nearly breathless.

Afterwards Caitlin stared at him. She wasn't exactly sure what to say but she knew something had changed in Hawke. She thought back to the hangar. The flowers and the kiss he gave her then. Had she missed it? She wondered if he had been trying to tell her then how he felt.

"I'm glad you didn't bite my lip," he teased.

Caitlin smiled. "Oh, I'd never really do that," she replied. "Well, not unless you wanted me to."

**Now….it's the end. ***Added an Addendum****  
**


	8. Addendum

_Okay, some wanted more so here you go. _

**Addendum to "At the End"**

Two months had gone by and Caitlin was getting stronger. She was walking without assistance and had finally been cleared to fly on her own again. She was so excited when Dom brought her back to the cabin from her doctor's appointment because she couldn't wait to tell Hawke the good news.

As soon as they touched down on the dock, she jumped out and hurried to the front door of the cabin.

"Hey, be careful," Dom yelled. "We just got you back in one piece again."

Caitlin laughed as she ran up the cabin steps. "I'll be fine Dom," she yelled.

"What's going on?" asked Hawke as Caitlin came barreling through the door.

"I got the all clear!" she nearly yelled. "I can fly again and you don't have to keep taking care of me."

Hawke's sudden frown puzzled her. "What's the matter?" she asked. "I thought you'd be happy for me?"

"Oh, I am," he replied, trying to smile this time. "That's great news."

Dom finally made his way into the cabin and sat down on the couch. "She's a bunny on sugar," he said. "I didn't think she was ever going to stop jumping up and down."

Caitlin grinned. "Sorry, Dom." She replied. "I've just felt so helpless and it feels good to be able to get my life back."

"I don't know," replied Hawke. "I've kind of enjoyed having you here."

"Oh," she replied softly, realizing why Hawke suddenly seemed upset. "I really appreciate everything you've done Hawke, I really do."

"I know," he replied softly. "How about we have a celebration dinner tonight?"

Dom stood up and stretched. "Sorry but I have to pass for tonight," he told them. "I have a dinner date with an old friend."

"Oh, that's right," Caitlin said, giving him a wink. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"In other words, don't do anything," Hawke said with a smirk."

"Hey!" she yelled as she slapped him on the arm. "If the timing and person was right, yes I would."

Dom smiled. "Okay you two, play nice," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Caitlin walked over and gave Dom a hug before he left. "Thanks for everything Dom," she said. "I couldn't have made it through all this without you."

"Anytime honey," he replied, giving her a squeeze.

Caitlin stood out front and watched until the Santini helicopter was out of sight before coming back in and joining Hawke.

"So, what's for dinner?" she asked. "I'm starving."

"Well, all I have is pasta but I have a special bottle of wine I've been saving for a special occasion," he replied.

"Sounds perfect," she replied as she turned on the radio and plopped down on the couch.

Hawke watched her closely. He wasn't sure where her head was at. He had thought they were getting closer after he had fallen and ended up with a concussion. He had kissed her and knew she responded. It was obvious that she enjoyed it as much as he did. But, since then, she had kept her distance from him. Every time he initiated contact with her after that, she pulled away. It frustrated him.

Hawke started dinner and then poured them both a glass of wine before joining her on the couch. Hawke was pleased to see that she was more relaxed than she had been.

"So how are you feeling?" he asked after taking a sip of his wine.

"Wonderful," she replied. "I feel like I can take on the world."

"Well, slow down," he told her. "The world is out there waiting for you but I'd kind of like to enjoy the moment right here."

"Oh, I will," she said with a grin.

To Hawke's surprise, Caitlin got up and turned off the stove before topping off her wine and taking another sip. "I think dinner can wait," she told him.

"Wait for what?" he asked, hoping he knew the answer. "I thought you were starving?"

Caitlin smiled and joined him back on the couch. She reached over and began unbuttoning his shirt. Hawke quickly grabbed her arm and stared at her.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

Taken aback, Caitlin stood up and walked to the door. "I'm sorry Hawke," she replied. "I guess I got the wrong idea. It won't happen again."

"Let hell it won't," he replied as he jumped up, grabbed her and pushed her lightly against the door before kissing her. "I didn't think you still wanted me."

Caitlin put her arms around his neck and gazed into his eyes. "Of course I do," she replied. "I just had to make sure that the doctors were okay with it. I did have a back injury you know. I had to make sure that I could…..well, you know."

Hawke couldn't help but notice that her cheeks had turned pink again.

"It's okay," he assured her. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. That makes perfect sense."

Caitlin smiled and reached in for another kiss. This time Hawke took it to a new level and was pleased that she let him explore her mouth before moving down her neck. Afterwards, Caitlin continued what she'd started on the couch. This time Hawke didn't stop her from unbuttoning and removing his shirt.

She got goose bumps as she ran her hands over his chest and down his back. It was something that she had imagined doing so many times but never thought it would ever really happen.

In turn, Hawke began to undress her as well. He removed her top and jeans and smiled seeing her standing there in her under garments.

"What's so funny," she asked. "Do I look funny?"

Hawke couldn't help but laugh after that comment. "Of course not," he told her. "I was just thinking about all the times I would steal a glance when you would wear that purple bikini bathing suit."

Caitlin giggled. "I know," she replied. "Why do you think I liked to wear that one so much?"

Hawke pulled her back to the couch and pushed her down easy. He continued kissing her from her lips to her belly button and back up again. He stared into her eyes and was surprised to see a sparkle that he hadn't seen from her in a long time.

"I love you Caitlin," he whispered before going in for another kiss.

"I love you too," she replied afterwards.

Hawke grabbed her gently by the arms and pulled her back to her feet. "I think we'll be more comfortable upstairs," he told her.

Caitlin reached down, unzipped his jeans and pushed them to the floor. "Wait," she told him. "Let's make this an even playing field."

Hawke laughed. "Oh, we'll be on the same page as soon as we get upstairs," he assured her.

Caitlin smiled as he took her hand and led her up to the loft bedroom.


End file.
